“No More Photos Mummy”

The day started out as any other. The sun was shining and I was feeling great about my day off with my daughter.

But when I got my phone out to take an impromptu photo of our wonderful day, I was met with the words an Instagram addicted mum never wants to hear:

“No More Photos Mummy!”

My smile dropped. It was the first time that she’d ever told me that she doesn’t want me to take her photo.

Southwold beach, Georgia throwing stones

As well as a small tear, a few thoughts rattled through my head:

  • As a mum, my one major interest is my daughter. My other interest is photography. Well that scuppers that plan then doesn’t it?
  • As a large part of me, she is entwined into my identity like a knot. But when will she untangle that knot and wriggle free? What will that leave me with?
  • Okay, so she’s only two. I’m not going to give up the ghost just yet of sharing her images but it is the first time that it’s made me think about it.

This isn’t about online safe sharing.

Sure, some people decide to block out their children’s faces, or only show their children from behind to safeguard them. But that’s not for me. I don’t share pictures of Georgia’s foof. Even I don’t want to see that.

I don’t tell you exactly where I live and I make sure that door numbers are obscured and that I’m not sharing pictures of our friends etc. But you still see us. You see the fun we have. You probably don’t even notice the measures I go to, which is the whole point.

What it is about is coming to terms with the fact that I’m sharing pictures that aren’t necessarily mine. They’re hers.

They aren’t always my memories. They are hers too.

Identity crisis.

If she stops letting me take her photo, my Instagram account and blog instantly loses its identity. If I’m not sharing her life then what is my life about?

I’m not sure you’d be interested in hearing my thoughts on who’s going to be kicked out next on Love Island.

As a parent I now largely live my life through hers. Holidays are planned around what she’d enjoy most, restaurants booked around which has the best child-friendly menu. Heaven help the restaurant that recently gave us a pot of colouring pencils that were dog-eared and all pale pink at 12pm.

Sure, we all take a moment to indulge ourselves – whether that’s a day at the spa, my daily life in the world of content marketing (read: drinking TEA!), or hobbies, but the cool things that I like sharing with people are largely related to Georgia.

Let’s face it:

Her life is far more exciting than mine.

From experience, people generally start unfollowing my Instagram account when I post pictures of myself. Would I be enough without my tiny sidekick constantly in my feed?

I created her, but she is growing into her own little person with her own feelings with every passing day. I wouldn’t change it for the world and I can’t ignore it forever.

For now, I’ll squeeze her a bit tighter and get as many photos in as possible before she starts demanding no more photos on a permanent basis

Have you gone through a similar crisis? Let me know your thoughts!

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24 Comments

  1. June 19, 2017 / 7:25 am

    I sometimes get the no more photos comments but not very often at the moment. Every parent takes photos of their children and they will continue to do so independent of sharing them on social media or not. We are recording memories. I know I love looking back at photos of me from when I was a child. I’m sure Georgia will love looking at her photos too. Maybe just try mixing things up a bit. I love all your photos not just the ones you take of Georgia. x

  2. June 21, 2017 / 7:16 am

    You can take photos of the areas around your daughter. Like if she’s blowing bubbles in the yard you focus on the bubbles and leave her out. I find even my fence in the yard is commented on when I share it. People just like looking into other people’s lives. So…let’s see what your grass looks like 😉
    #fortheloveofBLOG

  3. June 21, 2017 / 7:54 am

    My daughter is obsessed with seeing photos of herself! I don’t share pics with her face on social media/my blog though, but that’s my choice. I’m sure you’ll find that balance between what you are comfortable with and what she is as you get older. #fortheloveofBLOG

  4. June 21, 2017 / 8:54 am

    L goes through stages he either says no more pictures mummy or strikes a pose and says picture me now! He loves taking his own pictures though and often gets me to take pictures of his toys. I just go with the flow and hope in the long run he still enjoys it because I’ll have to stop when he doesn’t. It’s all about him too!

  5. June 21, 2017 / 8:54 am

    L goes through stages he either says no more pictures mummy or strikes a pose and says picture me now! He loves taking his own pictures though and often gets me to take pictures of his toys. I just go with the flow and hope in the long run he still enjoys it because I’ll have to stop when he doesn’t. It’s all about him too!

  6. June 21, 2017 / 10:08 am

    Ah welcome to my life of not being able to take photos of the teens! Hence my passion for doors, cute buildings and anything else that takes my eye! I’m sure it’s just a phase. I love your photos of other things too though so guess you’ll have to add a few more of those in until she’s happy to strike a pose again. It’s a difficult one and one I very much sympathise with #fortheloveofBLOG

  7. June 21, 2017 / 10:25 am

    It’s so interesting, I feel the same way that I don’t feel like people want photos of me. But, I don’t tend to do full frontal face shots of my little boy, so hoping all the other shots are enough…….. #fortheloveofBLOG

  8. June 21, 2017 / 10:54 am

    Oh I’m sure she’ll let you take her photo tomorrow. You know how fickle toddlers are 🙂 I feel the same as you about sharing photos though. I know some people prefer to obscure faces, but I’m happy showing them for now. #fortheloveofBLOG

  9. June 21, 2017 / 1:54 pm

    It is only the start I feel. Mine either love photos or hide. I just want a million pictures of their every move…bit much maybe!

  10. June 21, 2017 / 7:34 pm

    My boys love having their photos taken, though when it suits them, they enjoy looking back at them. My eldest is so taken with photography that we want to get him a camera for his birthday. I don’t post pictures of my boys online if I can help it, normally back of head type shots, or slightly obscure, but that works for me. Im sure your daughter will change her mind. I just want to say that you would be enough, and are enough with or without your daughter in your feed. xx

  11. June 21, 2017 / 8:10 pm

    Hmm that’s a tricky conundrum. Hopefully she just didn’t want photos at that moment and she’s not already saying she doesn’t want them for good. I wouldn’t worry too much about the identity and blogging side of things. As she is only 2, I can see how so much of your life revolves around her. But I think you will slowly have more to say about other things, that may relate to being a parent but not need to be so specifically about her. There are a lot of years before she’s a teenager and that’s when you’ll really have photo problems! #fortheloveofBLOG

  12. June 21, 2017 / 8:56 pm

    Amelia is the selfie queen, I must admit! She’s just recently started to want to be the photographer, which ahs resulted in a lot of shots of me… Not so IG friendly!!! I always respect her wishes when she says no more, but I’d be lying if I said I’m not a little bit gutted by it…! #fortheloveofBLOG

  13. I get “No photos mummy” regularly. Sometimes I sneak a snap anyway – which results in a grumpy face. Sometimes I just wait until she is absorbed in something and then get some shots whilst she’s busy. It’s tricky though because as they get older it feels wrong to not respect their wishes. Often I think they are just trying to assert their authority though rather than objecting specifically to the photo. Hopefully it will pass for you soon! #fortheloveofBLOG

  14. June 22, 2017 / 8:37 pm

    My kids say this too. And now they are getting older I’m thinking long and hard about maybe using them less and less on my blog. As they get older I do feel I need to respect their privacy, and this could mean changing the direction of the blog. #bloggerclubuk

  15. June 22, 2017 / 8:57 pm

    Isn’t your blog and instagram account about you? Can’t you just selfie it up?
    I don’t share photos of the kids online because it’s not my image and I have no control over where it goes. My teen does share photos (which I’m not so pleased about but what can you do?). #FortheloveofBLOG

  16. June 23, 2017 / 3:23 pm

    Oh this made me smile. I have never been allowed to feature photos of my teens on my site or on social media. It is challenging but not impossible. I feel that she will return to being her compliant self soon. Good luck. #fortheloveofBLOG

  17. June 23, 2017 / 5:34 pm

    I love your instagram feed and your love of photography shows, they are great photo’s but honestly – I wouldn’t mind seeing more photo’s of you. Kids are our life and there’ll be a natural progression of letting go over the next few years (especially when she starts school) but don’t worry – you won’t even notice the transition. And hey – I’m sure your thoughts on Love Island would be appreciated in their own little way too! #fortheloveofBLOG

  18. June 24, 2017 / 1:08 pm

    I too share my kids (in moderation) as they are mostly what I’m about! I too also feel that they are why I chose to do parenting blogging and vlogging. In my experience of kids, as I know them better than blogging I would say she’s trying to get a reaction from you, as they know how to work us! Ignore it and she will pick up on something else to try and irritate you with, the joys of toddlers! #fortheloveofblog

  19. June 24, 2017 / 6:54 pm

    One day Molly hates having her photo taken, the next shes walking around posing and saying ‘cheese’ all the time. Most of the photos on my phone are blurry but I’ll keep taking them anyway #fortheloveofblog

  20. June 25, 2017 / 1:34 pm

    Aaaawww don’t give up on the pics just yet,she’ll love looking back on them one day. I’ve 3 teenagers so I do ask their approval to put things on social media but they usually say yes.#fortheloveofBLOG

  21. June 26, 2017 / 12:10 pm

    Oh no sorry to hear that. Hopefully it’s just a phase and she’ll be back to wanting her picture taken again soon. Although I think that I would feel exactly the same if my daughter could say that, she can’ at the moment. But if she doesn’t then you could try taking photos from the back, I went through a phase of doing that. Thanks for being a fab co-host at#fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

  22. June 26, 2017 / 8:59 pm

    Ben has started to tell me yes if I ask him if he wants to do something, whilst it makes life so much easier now he actually communicates correctly but I know that soon he will be such a big boy and won’t want to take part in any photos. But then me and Hubby did say about when he goes to nursery we are considering not taking face shots anymore so that may help with you. If you’re walking down the road you can take a photo from behind when she’s nonethewiser! #fortheloveofBLOG

  23. June 27, 2017 / 5:17 pm

    I don’t think you will lose lots of followers just because you don’t share regular photos of your daughter. And whether you share them or not, she actually doesn’t know. I’m guessing her issues is with having a camera on her all the time, as ALL parents do. I take loads of pics of my girls but very very rarely do I post them on my blog or instagram unless their faces are blocked out. They are none the wiser, yet I’ve also had that comment from them before. Hope you get to come to some arrangement that works for you.
    #fortheloveofblog

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