Finding me again with my lippy on

LipstickI’ve discovered a new love for makeup.

Where others have makeup bags filled to the brim, I could fit mine in one hand. Foundation (worn infrequently), concealer, eye shadow and mascara. Enough to give me a bit of a boost, but to be honest, was pretty much a half-hearted attempt.

I’ve never really been too fussed when it comes to makeup – I’m happy to go fairly ‘o-natural’, but after having Georgia, I’m finding that I’m relying on it more and more.

Not just to hide those big bags under my eyes, but to boost my self-confidence and to inject a bit of ‘me’ back into me.

After becoming a mum, I found that I started to disappear into the background. Nobody saw me anymore as their eyes would be drawn to her. That’s fine as she is gorgeous, but it can make you feel like you’re turning invisible. Why even bother, right? I no longer counted as a human anymore. That can hurt and didn’t help with that feeling of crippling isolation that riddled me on and off throughout maternity leave.

Now, I see makeup as a form of self-expression rather than something I need to feel pretty. I don’t need to feel pretty, but I do need to feel like me.

But the problem is, I didn’t really know where to start.

I found myself standing in Boots in front of the makeup stands not really knowing where to look. I needed somebody to hold my hand at that point and to tell me what would look good on me. But unfortunately I don’t have a makeup guru (if you know one who’d be willing to help… let me know)! So, I thought I’d start with lipstick – something I’ve never really worn as I thought it’d have the biggest impact on my look.

It sounds silly I know as it’s only makeup, but I feel like I’m showing a part of me that’s been hidden for a while when I’m wearing lipstick. That fun, go lucky girl that I lost a while ago- yes.. the same one that I had a harrowing experience of losing in my knicker drawer.

Granted, I’m just drawing on my face, but it almost feels like I’m actually uncovering the real me. I can be myself again and people can see the real me. Not just a mum, but me.

I’m probably a beauty bloggers nightmare as I still don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m still learning – at an age where I should probably have already discovered these sorts of things. But that’s not the point.

If others think it makes me look prettier then that’s a bonus, but that’s not the main reason why I want to wear it.

 

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