Why we can’t afford another child

“So, when are you planning baby number 2?”

Honestly? I’m not. Not yet at the very least. The thought alone makes my purse shrivel and weep a little.

It shouldn’t be a decision based on finances but the truth is – it is. At least for me it is.

Even if we were ready to start contemplating baby number 2, my bank balance isn’t anywhere near ready.So when are you planning for number 2?

We’re normal

The stupid thing is, we don’t struggle financially. I’m a working mum and we’re not on the breadline. We both earn comfortably over the national average. We don’t roll around in cash at night but we do own our own detached home in the ‘burbs. We both have our own cars. We’ve both worked hard to get to where we are. But we do have to live carefully.

We shop at Aldi, we don’t book expensive holidays and we treat ourselves frugally. I bought myself a £1 magazine and a packet of pancakes this week as my treat and I feel like a queen. This gives us a very small amount of savings in a year that we can put towards ‘house stuff’ or for special trips. It’s certainly not enough for another tiny human… or even enough to recreate our honeymoon.

If we did use that money for another tiny human? It’d be at the expense of being able to live comfortably. Being able to go on nice trips out, to see our families, of being able to celebrate special occasions. I don’t want to live like that – and that’s a choice I’ve made.

Our biggest expense is actually childcare. To find that happy balance, I work 4 days a week and Georgia is at nursery for those 4 days.

We actually spend less money on our mortgage for a 3 bed house than we do for those 4 days childcare. That is insane. If I had to pay the same amount for two kids before free funding kicks in? You can imagine how well off I’d need to be.

Couldn’t I just stay at home?

I couldn’t afford to be a stay at home mum and equally hubby can’t afford to be a stay at home dad. Equal rights and all that. No, we both contribute. So unless something drastic happens to one of our salaries overnight (or both of us!) we can’t rely just on one of us. We work hard in our jobs and it takes time to pull yourself up the ladder.

“You’ll make do…”

Anyone with a young child will probably be told this by at least one person when the topic of finances and tiny people come up. Granted, with one child to fend for you can make do and cut back on expenses. But with 2? I can’t cut back anymore.

No… unfortunately we wouldn’t make do. We’d drown in debt. We wouldn’t be able to afford our house to live in, to pay our bills. I don’t think that counts as making do.

Waiting game

Financially, my ovaries have to hold off until at LEAST the point where government funding kicks in for her to reduce childcare costs. That’ll be September 2018 as Georgia was 5 days too late for funding to kick in next April.

Luckily, the thoughts of financial turmoil has a firm grasp of my ovaries. I honestly don’t know if we’re ready to grow our family yet as my mind doesn’t even dignify the thought. I don’t want to bring another child into a world where I’m worrying about money. Sure, things will be a LOT tighter with 2 rather than 1, but I at least want to know that we can afford to live.

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6 Comments

  1. March 8, 2017 / 3:22 pm

    We are in exactly the same postition as you. In fact I could have written the exact post, except I work 5 days a week! TBH I’m fed up of people asking me when no. 2 is coming along. I actually feel embarrassed to say there isn’t going to be a no.2. I shouldn’t feel like that but I do. I have had to give up my Weekends with my husband and daughter to work for a few hours so we don’t have childcare costs during the week. My mum does an amazing job for us by looking after her the other 3 days. But like you we own two cars and our house and are very happy. Xx

    • Kelly Edwards
      March 8, 2017 / 3:32 pm

      I know exactly how you feel. Don’t feel embarrassed about it – it’s so hard trying to ‘get by’ with 1, alraedy making sacrifces let alone thinking about another. We’re not even sleeping through the night yet so I wouldn’t want to even entertain that thought! x

  2. March 8, 2017 / 7:36 pm

    I think so many people are in the same position and will feel reassured by this post x

    • Kelly Edwards
      March 9, 2017 / 6:00 pm

      Thank you x

  3. Jenny
    March 8, 2017 / 7:47 pm

    Thanks for your honesty. We are in the same position too. In the big economic world it seems that us “normal ” ones are paying for it the most. Roll on funded hours!

    • Kelly Edwards
      March 9, 2017 / 6:01 pm

      It really does feel that way. Yes, roll on funded hours! x

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