OMG: I am my mum

There’s a moment in every woman’s life where she realises that she’s turning into her mother.

Mine happened when I became a mum. I’m sure the baton was passed to me during childbirth while I was pumped up to the clouds on opiates. It may explain why I swore to the midwife when she refused me an epidural for the umpteenth time because it was “too late”.

Of course, it was bound to happen.

Georgia and Kelly scream at the camera

There were bound to be some similarities pop up, but they should be changeable if your will is strong enough.

It’s a misconception that we’re developing into our own people, making our own decisions as we grow into adults. Even getting married and having our own kids. We live our own independent lives and think that our parents influence was severed after they finished moulding us into independent people. But they haven’t.

Here’s the truth: echos from our past resonate throughout our lives, shaping our future and silently forming our values on parenting.

We can say “ooh, I won’t do that when I’m a parent” to our heart’s content, but until you’re there, you just don’t know how you’ll react. Whether you’ll instinctively fall back on the values that you grew up with, or whether you’ll set your own path.

To a certain extent you can set your own parenting path. But for generic phrases and mumisms, it can be a surprise to learn how similar you really are to your mother.

“Come on”, in a high pitched voice was one of my mums favourite mumisms. It was one of those annoying phrases that made my eyes roll to the back of my head as I went all ‘Kevin and Perry’ in my teen years. A phrase meant to jeer you along into action but never really did.

I now find myself telling my daughter to “come on” on a regular basis and I can’t seem to stop myself. I can feel my teen-self shaking her head in dismay, wondering where my life went so wrong and when I became uncool.

You can try to run as far away in the opposite direction as you like from your parents and your upbringing, but it’s always there. Those bungee cord strings are still attached to your back, giving you a false sense of security. It’s waiting to pull you right back to where it all started. Your parents.

I am my mum’s daughter.

I have perfected my mum’s dancing skills and click my fingers along to songs without realising it. I am already so embarrassing and my daughter isn’t even old enough to realise it yet.

All I need now is to perfect my mum’s shuffle in flip-flop slippers and I can call Bingo on being my mum.

The most surprising thing to find out is that the more I see those surprising echos of my mum in me, the better I feel about it. It reminds me that I am her daughter. She invested a lot of effort into raising me and seeing a bit of my crazy mum makes me smile. She’s always with me as she’ll always be part of me. So I’m embracing it.

When the time comes, I’ll gladly pass down that crazy baton to my daughter, with echos of her mum, her Nanna and her ancestors.

 

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16 Comments

  1. July 6, 2016 / 6:09 am

    Yep, I’m definitely shades of my mum too, but I’ve also come to appreciate her a lot more since I became a mum myself.
    #bestandworst

  2. July 6, 2016 / 6:54 am

    I’ve written a post on turning into my mother too. I’m sure it happens to us all eventually. Argh! I actually never really thought about my mother’s parenting style until she started trying to impose it on my son, and now I’m trying to be as different as possible! #tribe

  3. July 6, 2016 / 1:03 pm

    “Let’s get organised” is my mumism (cue wide eyed emoji). You are so right, echos from your childhood literally smack you in the face when you become a parent. Unfortunately for me, when I look in the mirror, my Mum is stirring back at me. Lovely post and gorgeous picture of you and Georgia. Renee @peonieandme #bestandworst X

  4. July 6, 2016 / 7:53 pm

    I often have moments this like and I’m like OMG I’m turning into my Mum, ha! Lovely post and thanks for linking up #bestandworst

  5. July 6, 2016 / 7:56 pm

    I think it has already happened to me too – I find myself moaning when I drop things in exactly the same way my mum used to. It would annoy me at the time and I wondered why she’d complain so much, but now I understand having so much to think about as a mum. You’re right though, we should be proud of turning into our mums and taking some of our ancestry with us! #bestandworst #triballove

  6. July 7, 2016 / 6:42 am

    I was determined not to turn into my mum but have definitely picked up some of her traits! #brillblogposts

  7. July 7, 2016 / 9:31 am

    I hope I’ve inherited my mum’s slightly off-the-wall approach to parenting (lilo slides down the stairs, pretending to have her head stuck in washing machine, trying to fool us with tomato leaf ‘spiders’) but I can also hear the nagging side too! Oh well it was bound to happen 🙂
    #StayClassyMama

  8. July 7, 2016 / 12:41 pm

    So trye, the thing I am doing a lot now is humming to adverts but completely wrong and without knowing it. It used to drive me mad when my mum did it and my partner has said a few times about it x #bestandworst

  9. July 7, 2016 / 6:03 pm

    We all become our mums, don’t we? Every day I notice that I have more of my mum’s mannerisms. She’s not afraid to be silly, something I hope to pass onto my daughter. She seems to be picking it up already – stupid noises are her most favourite thing. Especially a fart noise. #stayclassymama

  10. July 8, 2016 / 11:09 am

    I love this! You know what I’d be thrilled to be like my mum, it’s a little too early to tell but she’s amazing – my parents have 4 kids and we all absolutely adore them! My eldest sister is scarily like my mum, even weird things like they both chose the exact same lipstick and shade from the Avon catalogue – out of all the hundreds of combinations!
    I definitely think our own parents and childhood has a huge bearing on how we parent, it makes sense I guess as that’s what informs our experiences. #stayclassymama

  11. July 8, 2016 / 3:00 pm

    Such a lovely article and I really enjoyed reading it. I find myself not only saying things but doing things in the same manner my mum used to. I never thought i would do it but like you I really don’t mind.

  12. July 9, 2016 / 2:57 pm

    I think it happened with me relatively quickly. Probably after I got past the first few weeks of being crazy sleep deprived. I found myself making up songs to help lull my little one asleep and learning how to do the mommy dance of walking around with a baby on your hip. I’m sure my son will think I am supper embarrassing once he gets old enough to realize it. #TribalLove

  13. July 9, 2016 / 8:22 pm

    Yep took a while for me to have that “OMG i’m a mum and in charge of other people” feeling too. I think it was the first time i was left alone with them both and i was ummm…what now?? great post! #stayclassymama

  14. July 10, 2016 / 7:15 pm

    I am turning into my mum as well. I think once you become a mum you become like your mum!
    #triballove xx

  15. July 11, 2016 / 1:54 pm

    Great piece, I’m definitely turning into my Mum too! I also say things to my son that my Dad used to say to us, that I’ve not heard for 15 years and yet all of a sudden are popping out of my mouth lol! They are good parents though so I don’t mind really! Thats a great photo too! Thanks for linking up #stayclassymama