I’ve recently experienced my first bout of negativity about a blog post I wrote. After openly sharing my feelings about people mistaking Georgia for a boy when she’s obviously wearing girl clothing, I was shocked to see such a negative comment. They said that they “felt sorry for me” and thought that it was “cruel”. All for sharing my own personal experiences and sharing how this made me feel.
But, it wasn’t so much the fact that this person had written something negative that annoyed me as everybody is entitled to their own opinion… and it could have been a lot worse. What was worse for me, was that this person is a fellow mummy blogger.
For me, this raised a few issues as I believe that they broke the unwritten rules of blogging:
1. Don’t shit in your own backyard
Being a blogger is like having your own brand. You wouldn’t find Argos slandering Amazon because they’ve launched a new product that Argos would never sell. I think the same should be said for bloggers. Granted, most people blog for fun, but everything bloggers put online – whether that’s their own blog or comments on others etc – has a direct association to them and to their reputation as a blogger.
I now have very negative feelings toward this particular blogger as I wouldn’t openly trust somebody who shits in their own backyard as it has damaged their reputation as a blogger in my mind.
2. Sharing is caring
Everybody will have different experiences and that’s the beauty of reading different blogs to read other people’s stories. It would be a boring world if everybody shared the same views. But just because somebody doesn’t share a view, or experience, doesn’t mean that it means any less or any more than their own.
Part of being a blogger means putting your heart on the line and sharing personal experiences and views that you may not otherwise get to share. But does that make our personal opinions and experiences wrong from the next person? Hell no. They’re ours and we should never have to explain why it’s okay to have our own feelings.
3. It ain’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it
In the infamous lyrics of Bananarama, “it ain’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it”. Having our own opinions and views is what makes us unique, but if you’re sharing your opinion on other people’s turf, it’s important to think about the way that you do it.
I regularly receive great comments from people who have had completely different experiences, but they write their comments in such a way that they were sharing their opinion and experience, without openly mocking my own.
It’s okay to have a different experience and to have different feelings from other people – but disregarding somebodies feelings that they’ve openly shared (let’s face it bloggers, it sometimes takes guts to press that ‘publish’ button), is just wrong.
I won’t stop sharing my feelings and experiences on my blog and I hope if other bloggers ever experience a similar situation, that they don’t either.
If you’re looking for advice on how to deal with bad comments, Brummy Mummy Of 2 recently wrote a brilliant post about how to deal with trolls – both on your own blog and on external sites.