Dear Newlyweds – I’m sorry

As a parent, I'm just trying not to spoil your special dayDear Newlyweds,

Thank you for inviting us to attend your wedding yesterday. I’d like to tell you that it was a beautiful day and made me feel emotional, but to be honest, I can’t really remember much of it and I’m really sorry about that.

Not because I drank too much or because it passed in a whirlwind because frankly, I didn’t and it didn’t.

What was a magical day for you, was in fact our first wedding with a fully-fledged toddler. We’d attended two weddings before with our daughter when she was 10 weeks old and 6 months old but neither experience prepared us much for your wedding.

I wrongly assumed that it would be an easier affair as she got bigger, but no.

We arrived on time to the chapel, having prepared a bag full of snacks, books and ‘quiet’ toys. Like good parents, we sat near the door to pop out if she started to kick up a fuss – we knew the drill.

But she began to get bored before the bride had even arrived. We’d read the books. We’d even started on the raisins. You know you’re in for some trouble if you’ve started on the snacks before the wedding has even begun.

What was a beautiful service for most I’m afraid went straight over my head.

You see, I was staring at my daughter and trying to keep her as quiet and happy as possible. It’s a lot harder than it looks. She was trying to clamber up the seat while playing with her tortoise on wheels although not in a nice little forward and backward ‘car’ motion but in a bashy bashy way.

Sure, I caught a few glimpses of what was going on but to be honest, I was watching the wedding through a parent bubble. As a singleton, it’s easy to take part in a wedding and be a good guest as you can completely focus on the love and vows being exchanged – you may even feel a bit emotional. As a parent, I’m just trying not to spoil your special day.

As the weather wasn’t very nice, after the service we were ushered into the fairly large hall for drinks and canapes which were lovely. But, there was no room for my daughter to run around. Apart from the small breaks in the rain where I could let her run free outside – and don’t get me wrong, she LOVED that part the most, there just wasn’t enough space. Sure, there was plenty of room for adults to stand still and discuss how beautiful the bride looked – which she did. But there wasn’t any room for tiny people to run around. To be themselves and to explore.

So during the lag between the service and dinner, I was preoccupying her with as many snacks as possible, trying to get her to stay still. I became a toddler wrangler, armed with a box of raisins as my herding technique. I didn’t even really have time to speak to our friends who we haven’t seen for a little while which was a shame.

It’s by far not your fault and I’m not complaining about her being there. She was so very well behaved (when plied with ample snacks). Everybody complimented her on how gorgeous she is and how lovely her shoes are. Of course, both of these are true! You were kind enough to invite us and I’m very grateful to have been there to share your day.

I’m just sorry that I couldn’t pay more attention on your special day and I hope you can understand why.

Lots of Love,


Comments 7

  1. I remember going to a wedding when my eldest was about 9 months old, and my husband and I constantly passed her back and forth like pass the parcel. I breastfed in the disabled loo because I basically had to take my dress off to do it. She was given a meal which she didn’t eat. She got tired and ratty at 9pm. Another kind mum told me it would get easier. Mmmmm, well, it sort of did, but toddlers do not respond well to being asked to keep quiet, and not being able to move around freely. It sounds like you had it covered, sadly at the expense of enjoying the day yourself. It’s a case of the blind leading the blind, but I’m hopeful that in a few years it really does get better?!

  2. I’m not sure what the point is at which it truly does get easier – but it sounds like you had the situation completely under control and saved the bride and groom from witnessing a meltdown! It’s a shame you didn’t get to enjoy more of the day but you did some good family memory making, think of it that way Xx

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      I’ve got both your comments now – how odd! We had it covered and had a great day out, it’s just a shame I couldn’t actually remember a lot of the wedding bits! X

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      Aah I didn’t mean to worry you! If they have a toddler you’ll be absolutely fine. Most weddings really cater for young ones but this one just didn’t. One I went to had a creche in the church and loads of toys and area to run around before dinner. This was just bad luck! Xx

  3. There will be a couple of littles there on Saturday, but I’m more concerned about the rampaging five year olds! Luckily we aren’t doing any boring church stuff so they won’t get too bored…I hope! #tribe

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